HELP
Resources
Tools for a more
Tools for a more
connected life.
Evidence-based resources across the areas that matter most — loneliness, connection, dating, social skills, and intimacy. Curated by NHRI for men who want real information, not generic advice.
Loneliness
You are not the only one
You are not the only one
feeling this way.
Loneliness is now recognised as a public health crisis — and men are among the most affected. Understanding why it happens, what it does to us, and how to address it is the first step toward something better.
NHRI Resources
Books worth reading.
Together: The Healing Power of Human Connection in a Sometimes Lonely World
The former US Surgeon General examines what he calls the loneliness epidemic — how disconnection harms physical and mental health, and practical ways to rebuild connection. Science-based and compassionate.
Nonfiction · Research-based
Loneliness: Human Nature and the Need for Social Connection
Social neuroscientist Cacioppo spent years researching the effects of loneliness on the human condition — from immune systems to cognition. Unlike most books on the topic, this is rigorous science, not just self-help.
Nonfiction · Neuroscience
The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness
Based on 80+ years of Harvard research, the central finding is clear: deep relationships are the most important predictor of happiness and health. A quietly powerful book about what actually matters.
Nonfiction · Research-based
Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression
Hari argues that disconnection — from other people, from meaningful work, from nature — is at the root of the depression and anxiety epidemic. A clear-eyed, readable case for connection as medicine.
Nonfiction · Mental health
Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community
The landmark study of how social ties have eroded over decades — and what we lose when community disappears. Essential reading for understanding the structural roots of modern loneliness.
Nonfiction · Social science
A Man Called Ove
A grumpy, isolated man who finds himself reluctantly forming connections with his neighbours. Tender, funny, and quietly devastating on the subject of what isolation does to a person — and what connection can undo.
Fiction · Novel
Trusted external resources
CAMH — Centre for Addiction and Mental Health
Canada’s largest mental health teaching hospital. Resources on loneliness, isolation, and mental health support.
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Mental Health Commission of Canada
National resources on mental health, social connection, and support for men experiencing isolation.
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Here to Help BC
BC-based mental health and substance use information — including resources on isolation and connection.
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Not sure where loneliness is
affecting your intimate life?
Take the Free Quiz →
Connection
Connection is not a luxury.
Connection is not a luxury.
It is a human need.
Research is clear: the quality of our relationships is the single strongest predictor of health, happiness, and longevity. These resources help you understand what connection actually requires — and how to build more of it.
NHRI Resources
Books worth reading.
How to Know a Person: The Art of Seeing Others Deeply and Being Deeply Seen
A practical, heartfelt guide to the skill of truly knowing another person — the ability to make someone feel seen, valued, heard, and understood. Brooks argues this is the foundation of any healthy relationship.
Nonfiction · Relationships
The Good Life: Lessons from the World’s Longest Scientific Study of Happiness
80+ years of Harvard research distilled into one finding: the quality of your relationships determines the quality of your life. Practical, evidence-based, and quietly transformative.
Nonfiction · Research-based
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
Therapist Esther Perel explores the tension between intimacy and desire in long-term relationships — and why the things that create security can sometimes work against passion. Essential reading for anyone in a committed relationship.
Nonfiction · Relationships & sexuality
The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
40 years of relationship research by the world’s leading expert on what makes relationships succeed or fail. Practical, evidence-based, and applicable whether you’re married or not.
Nonfiction · Research-based
Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
Nagoski’s research on sexual response — including the spontaneous vs. responsive desire distinction — is essential reading for anyone trying to understand a partner’s desire. Clear, warm, and research-grounded.
Nonfiction · Sexuality & relationships
Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
Based on Emotionally Focused Therapy, Johnson shows how adult love relationships are driven by the same need for secure attachment as childhood bonds — and how to use that understanding to repair and deepen connection.
Nonfiction · Relationships & therapy
Trusted external resources
The Gottman Institute
Evidence-based resources on relationships, communication, and connection from the world’s leading relationship researchers.
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Esther Perel — Resources & Podcast
Articles, podcast episodes, and tools from the therapist who has thought most deeply about modern intimacy and connection.
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International Centre for Excellence in EFT
Find an Emotionally Focused Therapist — the attachment-based approach most strongly supported by research for couples.
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How is connection showing up
in your intimate relationship?
Take the Free Quiz →
Dating
Dating is a skill.
Dating is a skill.
Skills can be learned.
Dating well isn’t about techniques or tactics — it’s about showing up as a genuine, curious, present person. These resources focus on the real fundamentals: self-understanding, communication, and the courage to be authentic.
NHRI Resources
Books worth reading.
Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment
Understanding your attachment style — anxious, avoidant, or secure — may be the single most useful thing you can do before dating seriously. This is the clearest, most accessible introduction to attachment theory available.
Nonfiction · Attachment & psychology
The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman’s Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible
Despite the title, the philosophy here — cultivation of inner self, genuine presence, authentic connection — is valuable for anyone. Focuses on what actually creates attraction rather than tactical manipulation.
Nonfiction · Dating philosophy
Models: Attract Women Through Honesty
One of the few dating books for men that is genuinely grounded in authenticity rather than manipulation. Manson argues that vulnerability and honesty are more attractive than any technique — and backs it up well.
Nonfiction · Dating for men
How to Not Die Alone: The Surprising Science That Will Help You Find Love
Behavioural scientist and dating coach Ury identifies the most common patterns that sabotage modern dating — and offers research-backed strategies for finding a genuinely compatible partner.
Nonfiction · Behavioural science
Calling in “The One”: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life
Less about tactics and more about clearing the internal obstacles — the beliefs, patterns, and wounds — that get in the way of genuine intimacy. Works best for men willing to look inward.
Self-help · Inner work
Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Not a dating book in the traditional sense — but Brown’s research on vulnerability and shame is foundational for anyone who wants to show up authentically in an intimate relationship. Widely cited, deeply useful.
Nonfiction · Vulnerability & shame
Trusted external resources
Understand your patterns
before they become problems.
Take the Free Quiz →
Social Skills
Social confidence is built,
Social confidence is built,
not born.
Feeling awkward, unsure how to connect, or struggling to hold a conversation — these are common experiences, not character flaws. Social skills are learnable at any age. These resources show you how.
Books worth reading.
How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships
Nearly 100 practical tips for improving communication — from small talk to deep conversation. Lowndes focuses on habits that create genuine connection rather than performance tricks. Widely regarded as one of the most useful books on social skills.
Nonfiction · Communication
How to Know a Person
Brooks argues that the most important social skill is the ability to truly see another person — to ask the right questions, listen deeply, and make people feel understood. Practical and deeply human.
Nonfiction · Connection & communication
The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent’s Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over
A former FBI behavioural analyst shares the signals and approaches that create rapport and trust. Grounded in research on nonverbal communication and social behaviour rather than pickup artist tactics.
Nonfiction · Social psychology
Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking
Essential reading for introverted men who have been told their natural way of being is a social liability. Cain makes a compelling case for a different kind of social strength — one built on depth, listening, and genuine presence.
Nonfiction · Introversion & identity
Never Split the Difference: Negotiating As If Your Life Depended On It
A former FBI hostage negotiator’s guide to communication — particularly the undervalued skills of deep listening, tactical empathy, and emotional intelligence. Surprisingly applicable to intimate relationships.
Nonfiction · Communication
Nonviolent Communication: A Language of Life
A framework for expressing needs and hearing others without blame, judgment, or defensiveness. Widely used in therapy and conflict resolution — and profoundly useful for anyone learning to communicate in intimate relationships.
Nonfiction · Communication & relationships
Trusted external resources
Toastmasters International
A practical, community-based way to build communication confidence and public speaking skills. Chapters across Canada.
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Meetup
Find local groups built around shared interests — one of the most effective ways to build social connections and practice social skills in low-stakes settings.
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Social skills start with
knowing yourself.
Take the Free Quiz →
Initiating Sex
Initiation is one of the most
Initiation is one of the most
researched topics we have.
How you initiate sex — and how satisfied both partners are with that process — is one of the strongest predictors of sexual and relationship satisfaction. These resources give you the evidence and the tools to do it better.
NHRI Resources — Start Here
The Art of Initiation Course
Our flagship course — five modules built directly from peer-reviewed research on sexual initiation. Self-paced, practical, and designed for real relationships.
Free Sexual Initiation Quiz
The SIS-SF measures five dimensions of initiation — anxiety, shame, signal reading, communication, and strategy. Takes 12 minutes. Gives you a personalised picture of where to focus.
Initiation Matters — Research
Our peer-reviewed study showing that initiation satisfaction mediates sexual satisfaction in long-term relationships. The evidence behind the course.
Books worth reading.
Come As You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life
The clearest introduction to the science of sexual response — including the spontaneous vs. responsive desire distinction that explains why a partner’s hesitation isn’t rejection. Essential reading before initiating differently.
Nonfiction · Sexuality research
Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence
Perel explores the tension between security and desire in long-term relationships — and why the way most couples approach sex slowly kills it. Wise, warm, and full of practical reframes.
Nonfiction · Long-term relationships & desire
She Comes First: The Thinking Man’s Guide to Pleasuring a Woman
A practical, witty, and research-informed guide for men who want to be genuinely attentive partners. Shifts the focus from performance to presence — which is also, incidentally, what makes initiation work.
Nonfiction · Sexual health
The Elusive Orgasm: A Woman’s Guide to Why She Can’t and How She Can
An evidence-based, shame-free guide to female orgasm written by a clinical psychologist and sex therapist. For men who want to understand their partner’s experience rather than just their own.
Nonfiction · Sexual health & psychology
Passionate Marriage: Keeping Love and Intimacy Alive in Committed Relationships
Schnarch’s approach to intimacy is challenging and profound — he argues that genuine desire requires two differentiated adults, not fusion. For men willing to do serious work on themselves.
Nonfiction · Depth psychology & sexuality
The New Male Sexuality
A classic work on male sexuality that directly addresses the myths, performance pressures, and unrealistic expectations that undermine men’s intimate lives. Honest, practical, and still one of the best books on the subject.
Nonfiction · Male sexuality
Trusted external resources
Society for Sex Therapy and Research (SSTAR)
Find a certified sex therapist. SSTAR members meet rigorous clinical and educational standards.
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Sexuality and U — Canadian Resource
A Canadian resource for evidence-based sexual health information — including resources on desire, initiation, and communication.
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Psychology Today — Sexuality
Research-based articles on sexual desire, initiation, communication, and intimacy — including Dr. Zebroff’s column The Erotic Brain.
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