Real Life Sex Survey
We are investigating why some people prefer sex with a partner and other’s prefer to do it for themselves. We started this project in response to the growing trend of people opting for solo sex or no sex at all over partnered sex.
Here’s what we are hoping to find out:
Do men and women really have different preferences when it comes to solo vs. partnered sex, and if so, why? I want to understand whether popular beliefs that more women are choosing sex toys over men and more men are choosing porn over real-life. And most importantly, what drives these preferences.
The survey will take about 12 minutes to complete, and as a bonus, you’ll receive a personalized “sexual initiation style” report that will help you talk to your partner about how you like to be approached for sex. When the study is completed, you will receive a report on the findings.
If you’re interested in participating and sharing your thoughts, your input could help us better understand why partnered sex is becoming less frequent, leaving many people experiencing emotional disconnection, lower relationship satisfaction, increased loneliness, and reduced self-esteem.
Preference for Solo or
Partnered Sex
A quantitative study identifying the reasons men and women of different ages explain a decline in partnered sexual activity — and what that tells us about connection, intimacy, and modern relationships.
Help us understand
why connection is declining.
This study takes 12–14 minutes to complete online. Your responses are completely anonymous and will contribute to research that helps people build more connected intimate lives.
Participation is voluntary. You can withdraw at any time without consequence.
Take the Survey →Are you
eligible?
This study is open to a broad range of adults. Please review the eligibility criteria below before participating.
Age 18 or olderYou must be at least 18 years old to participate in this study.
All genders welcomeThis study welcomes participants of all gender identities — men, women, non-binary, and gender-diverse individuals.
Any relationship statusYou do not need to be in a relationship to participate. We are interested in both partnered and single individuals.
Any sexual orientationThis study is open to people of all sexual orientations.
Comfortable reading EnglishThe survey is administered in English. A comfortable reading level is required to complete it.
Why this
research matters.
Across many countries, rates of partnered sexual activity are declining — particularly among younger adults. At the same time, solo sexual activity is increasing. This shift is happening broadly across genders, ages, and relationship types, yet it remains poorly understood.
The first phase of this research was a qualitative study that explored the reasons people give for preferring solo over partnered sex — or for a decline in partnered activity. The findings revealed a rich set of themes around connection, communication, convenience, shame, and changing expectations of intimacy.
This second phase is a quantitative study that builds on those findings. We are asking a larger, more diverse group of participants the same core questions — to understand how widespread these patterns are, how they differ across genders and age groups, and what they tell us about the state of human connection.
The findings will be published openly and shared with clinicians, educators, and policymakers — contributing to a more honest public conversation about what is happening to partnered intimacy, and what might help.
Your participation is safe,
anonymous, and voluntary.
Completely anonymous
No identifying information is collected. Your responses cannot be linked back to you in any way.
Voluntary participation
You can stop the survey at any time and for any reason. There is no consequence for withdrawing.
REB approval in progress
This study is currently undergoing Research Ethics Board (REB) review. Participation will open fully upon approval.
Data stored securely
All data is stored securely and used only for the purposes of this research study.
Results shared openly
Findings will be published in a peer-reviewed journal and shared freely on the NHRI website.
Questions or concerns
Contact us at info@nurturinghumanityresearch.org with any questions about the study.
Dr. Petra Zebroff
Petra Zebroff is a sex researcher and therapist with over three decades of experience studying human sexuality, desire, and intimacy. This study is part of her ongoing research into what shapes partnered sexual experience — and what helps people build more connected lives.